MODESTY-A WORD MISSING FROM THE SCHOOL VOCAB LIST

MODEST: adj. 1. Having or DISPLAYING a moderate or unexaggerated reagard for oneself, humble. 2. Not showy, guady, or ostentatious. 3. Not excessive or extreme, moderate.
4. Reserved in speech, manner, DRESS, etc.

I looked up this definition in my Funk & Wagnalls Dictionary. I have come to the conclusion that this word is no longer found on the list of vocab words taught in school-elementary or high school!!

I spent Monday at 6 Flags amusement park in Mass. Having been there many, many times I am not concerned about just getting on rides. I actually take my time now to enjoy the ambience of the park. Stolling along the streets, eating popcorn, talking and laughing about nothing important is actually, for me, more theraputic than napping or reading a book. I now NEED THERAPY after the show I saw on Monday. The 'free show' that I saw on Monday was mind-blowing. I am not talking about "Illusion Quest" (thought the magician is fantastic), but the show the people were putting on. I will not limit this to the teenagers, because adults were also in this daily production. I believe the show should be called "The Three B's".

I don't know when "The Three B's" debuted, but I can tell you this drama/comedy is still going strong all across the country. For those of you that don't know what the three b's stand for, it's:
Breasts-Bellies-Butts!!!! I am 46 yrs. old-I have been married for 22 yrs.-I have given birth-I know what the human body looks like. I DON'T NEED TO SEE YOURS!!!!

Let me tell you a little bit about this show. Young and old females ( I will NOT call them ladies) alike dress in a manner so revealing as to be classified as 'dirty'. The tank-top style shirts leave nothing to the imagination. Breasts are everywhere-hanging out, bouncing and being covered with barely-there material. Some are so big as to have their own zip code! These shirts?! only cover the skin right below the breasts. The belly is exposed. If you have an atractive body, this would be more acceptable. But these women are: chunky, hefty, flabby and just down right fat!! Sorry, no political correctness today-or any other day for that matter!!! I could not believe the number of women who were showing off their bellies. The shirts they wore were skin-tight and stopped above the belly button. These very unattractive bellies were rolls of flab that hung over their shorts. They had good old fashioned 'love handles' on their hips. All of this skin jiggled as they walked!! Their shorts, in the hip-hugger style, were so tight I wondered how they could bend over or breathe in them. These shorts are so low on their hips that all of the belly shows. YUCK!!! I saw more fannies jiggling than on Richard's Simmons 'Sweatin' to the Oldies' video. I can tell you that all the colors of the rainbow were worn as underwear on Monday--because I SAW the underwear!!

What really amazed me about this whole scene was that these women think they look good!! Where they get their self esteem is beyond me. Do the men out there really think this is attractive?? The guys I have questioned say, "no". So, who does?? I don't see pictures of girls like this in magazines or on TV, so where does this new dress code come from? I have seen many young girls in school looking like this. Every time I see one it baffles me that she thinks she is pretty. A little cover-up would go a long way to making these girls seem more attractive.

Imagination is a wonderful thing. I don't want to see my Christmas presents, under the tree, unwrapped. The anticipation, the guessing of what is in the box is the thrill that the wrapping creates. Why show your body to all?? Let the guy use his imagination before the unwrapping begins.

I am truly embarrased and disgusted by the ways these girls treat themselves--and the general public by this atrocious attire. But my real burning question is, "WHERE ARE THEIR MOTHERS AND FATHERS ???????

Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me

WHAT HAPPENED TO DATING?????

For those of us that are married, and have been for a while, do you remember when you were dating?? Whether it was dating different guys, or just dating one guy before you 'went steady', that 'dating scene' seems to be a lost art today.

My daughters, 17 and 20, are in the dating years. Now, I am not so old that I can't remember those days from my youth. But what I remember, (and very fondly I might add), and what happens today are two totally different scenes.

The first time I would go out with a guy, we would 'go out on a date'. Simple, right?? You might 'date' him a few times, which would be called 'dating him' or 'seeing someone'. If you mutually decided to be exclusive, you were 'going steady' or 'an item'. The guys actually asked the girls to 'go steady' and usually gave them their high school ring or college pin (also known as being pinned' in my Mom's day) to wear.

Today, there isn't much 'dating' going on. They 'hook up'. This has two meanings. With the younger crowd, it means 'dating'. With the college age it means meeting someone and that night 'doing it'-sex. They don't seem to date a few different people-just one. But what gets my gall is the actual 'dates'. There aren't many, if at all. They hang out at each others homes, watch movies, play pool and talk--that's it. Very rarely do they actually go anywhere. Whatever happened to bowling, miniature golf, the movies, a nice dinner, Waterford Speedbowl, the beach, park or 6 Flags??? My kids go to these places--BECAUSE I TAKE THEM!!! My girls have done a few of these things with their boyfriends, but I am speaking in general terms. I have watched and listened to my girls' friends and heard most of this.

Back in my day (which was much more liberal than my Moms) girls that 'did it' early in a relaltionship or as a one night stand were considered 'loose', a 'tramp' or a slut. Today this is the norm. Ever heard of the term 'friends with benefits'??? Want to hazzard a guess as to what this means?? You guessed it!! Being a friend to someone and having sex with them because there is no one else in your life right now!! I DON'T THINK SO!!! Another "big thing" to do early in the relaltionship is a "BJ". I am NOT going to explain that--just guess. The girls will do this before they have 'normal' sex with a guy!! There were a couple of kids that were caught at the high school for doing this in the stairway!! Don't we teach safe sex?? Don't these kids learn anything?? I have repeatedly talked to my girls about this--even to the point of asking them each week if they have had sex with their boyfriend. I am very open with my girls. I am constantly telling them about AIDS and diseases and asking them to be careful. So far, I have been lucky--they are good girls who are listening to me.

To all you parents of young kids and pre-teens, watch out--and listen to what your kids say to their friends. It's a real eye-opening experience!!

Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me

FRIENDS, WHO NEEDS THEM???!!!

All through my life I have heard people say,"Friends, who needs them??". This is usually said when angry or upset with someone, usually a 'friend'. Well, I know who needs them--ME-- and YOU and YOU and YOU!!! That's who!!

Without friends, we would be so lonely and lost. Yea, we have family and co-workers. But it's not the same. Our friends KNOW us, know our dirty little secrets, our foibles, our places and things that make us tick, make us who we are. They know our loves, desires, wants, fears and hopes. Need I go on???

I have been blessed with a group of girls that mean the world to me. You know who you are. Yes, girls, not women. Women are old and stuffy, but girls are fun. As Cindy Lauper sang, "girls just wanna have fun".

My friends are different, yet the same in many ways. Some drink, some don't: some smoke, some don't: some are loud and boisterous, some are quiet and reserved. Some are old friends and some are new friends. But the one thing they all have in common, is my friendship!! I love these women to death--they are my sanity, my grounding when life gets too tough and in the way of living.

Freindship doesn't have to exist with the person nearest you. Karen, who I have known since first grade, lives in Washington state. When she's here, we get together; when she's not, like now, there's the computer. Email is a wonderful thing for keeping friendships alive. We write, send jokes and just stay in touch till we see each other again. Of all my friends, Karen is the only one who's known me as a little girl, before I got to be who I am today. It's fun to reminisce about our childhood and the crazy things that we each remember doing.

Laureen is my high school buddy. Of course, it helped I dated her brother for 4 years. But, she's still my friend after all these years. She lives on the other side of the state, which really isn't that far, but we talk more on the computer than see each other, but that's okay..we are still close friends.

The rest of my friends are local--which is terrific!! I get to see them more, talk on the phone (and it's free!) and hang out. Some I talk to and see all the time, like Tracy, and others every month or so.

It's nice to call or visit a friend when you are sad, or lonely and that voice and a hug helps you through the day. Maybe it's just a laugh you need, and you know where you can go to get one. Maybe you just need to vent ( anyone one of you with teenagers will understand this). Friends are there when you need them, even if you don't know you need them at the time. The night my Dad died, I had to go to his house to get some papers and important things, like money and jewelry. I had already called Tracy and Linda about Dad. Tracy went with me, but when we got there Linda showed up!! I hadn't asked her to come, she just came!!! She knew how much I needed her even though I hadn't realized it. They helped me collect items, Tracy cleaned up a terrible mess (thank goodness she's in the medical field) and they got me through a really, really difficult task. To this day, that is my fondest memory of these two wonerful 'girls'. I will love them forever for what they did for me that day. Yes, they were there for me through the next few difficult days, (Tracy, remember the funeral home visit!!??), but that was when I realized what a treasure I have in them. I will always be grateful to them for that night--they were my rock that allowed to stand with my head above the rushing river of pain in the house that evening. I love you both so much!!!!

So, my message to you all is: tell your friends you care. Tell them how special they are to you, that you value them as a person, a confidant, as someone who you will always be there for in good times and bad times. Send them a note, email and ecards are really an easy way to say you are thinking about them. Don't be shy---let them know you love them.

To all my friends---I LOVE YOU!!!!

Have a great day, and be safe.
Me

LANE COURTESY, ANYONE???.......

Well, I have just about had it with people--ADULTS--who should know better!!! I am so tired of almost getting killed on the highway because so many people are selfish, ignorant jerks who can't seem to use lane courtesy whlie driving! I was getting on the highway today from a difficult ramp, and this person was coming down the traveling lane. There wasn't anyone in the passing lane. Do you think he would move to the left so I could get on?? No, I almost ate the bridge because he wouldn't move!! I was taught to always pull over to the left lane near ramps so the other cars could get on. I almost lost a freind back in the 70's because some idiot never moved over. Mike ate the bridge going north on 395 at exit 82 and was in the hospital for months. Look ahead people--when a ramp is coming up--move over until you pass the on-ramp. It's not a hard thing to do. Well, I guess it is when your talking on your cell phone (illegally, I might add) and not paying attention to your driving!!

And then, how about the people that drive in the passing lane ALL THE TIME!! It's called the passing lane for a reason--SO YOU CAN PASS A CAR and then get back into the traveling lane. When behind a car doing this, you have two choices: stay behind them getting angry or pass them on the right (which is illegal). Even when you flash your lights, honk or ride their butt (which you shouldn't do), they still don't move. That just makes the crazy drivers start to weave in and around them. I can't tell you how many times I have almost witnessed an accident happen because of this. Where are the cops when you need them??!!??

Speaking of weaving, do the people really think you are going to get far by doing this??? It's bad during a traffic back-up, but even worse when the traffic is moving. I can't believe the risks that some people will take to get one or two car lengths ahead. The other day, a young guy came up behind me and started weaving in and out at a fast pace. Guess what??? We both ended up at the light at the same time!!! All that wasted gas, almost putting me and other people in the morgue, to arrive at the same time!!! What an idiot!!!

Guess what!!?? There are these little lights on your car. They are controlled by a switch--and they are called--drum roll, please--BLINKERS!!! Learn how to use them!! It would really help other drivers to know when you are going to cut in front of them!!! And, TURN THEM OFF when you are back in the correct lane.

Lat I knew, there is a rule here in Connecticut, that you can't talk on your cell phone any more (hand held, that is). I can't begin to count the number of people I have seen holding their phones and talking!! I guess they don't realize that when they do this, they start to weave and go slower on the road. Just another accident waiting to happen!!

I sometimes think of the days of horse-and-buggy. Maybe the Amish have it right. Take life a lot slower and it will be safer!!!

Have a great day, and stay safe.

Me

A Great Bunch of Kids!!!

After my last ranting about how "bad" some kids are, I thought I would explain that all teenagers are NOT like that. I know a lot of great kids--and today I'll tell you about two groups of teenagers that I am so PROUD to know. The music/drama group and the track/cross country group at Griswold High School.

First: the track/CC kids.

These young adults are a wonderful group of teenagers. They are respectful, helpful, friendly, considerate commrades who care about each other, their coaches and friends. They are also very funny!! I have been to many practices and meets where I have seen first hand how they work together for a common goal--striving to do their best. Yes, they want to win. But more importantly, they hold each other up in times of despair. They truly care about each other and the team as a whole. I have seen them congratulate other winners, and console each other when needed.
On a few occasions, I have had anywhere from 10 to 30 kids at my home for some sort of function for the team. They have always been polite, neat (cleaning up after themselves for the spaghetti dinner) and very jovial. Yes, they are silly at times:i.e. braiding Gavin's hair or trying to build a human pyramid on a blanket because Tradelle didn't want to kneel on the grass!! The girls' CC team spent an afternoon painting matching warm-up pants for team unity. One girl could not afford the pants, and was not allowed to come and paint. The girls bought her a apir, arranged to take my paints into school the next day and spent a little practice time with her helping her paint hers' so she would be like the rest of the team!! What a great bunch of girls!!
A lot of the credit must be given to the coaches. Coach Chester and Coach Stedman have taught these kids manners, humility, sportsmanship and team unity. These values will ease these teenagers into the "real world" with much more grace than they would have learned on their own. I would be very proud to have anyone of these kids as my own. I am so glad my daughters were in this wonderful clique!!

Music/Drama:

What can I say about these kids!!??!!! If anyone has ever gone to a GHS Music concert or the spring musical production, you know what an awesome job these kids do. If you have not been--GO!! It is something to not be missed!! The work ethic, the dedication, the TIME that these kids put into a production is unbelievable!! Both my daughters have been in this program for a total of 7 years(plus 6 each for elementary and middle school). I have been to every show (minus one concert) and every play. I can be found at the musical rehersals every night for the last two weeks before opening night!! I am in awe of the work ethic, the concentration these teenagers have to make the show "as perfect as can be". The choirs, band and orchestra have all won numerous awards for their musical talents. Besides three choirs, band and orchestra, there are: jazz band, steel band and men's choir. All extra, above and beyond what is needed. These kids LOVE what they do.
I have had different goups, up to 40 kids, at my house on occasion. Like the track team, these teenagers are so well behaved. If they spill something, they clean it up immediately. If the language gets out-of-hand, someone else reminds them to tone it down. Once, I said it was okay when a "bad word" was said, and another student said it "wasn't okay because they were disrespecting my house"!! What a grown-up response from a teenager!!
A lot of the credit must go to Mr. Kinsal and Mr. Churchill-the band and choir directiors. These gentlemen put in many hours above what is expected of them. Their drive, determination and dedication is a wonderful example for these students--and they DO learn from it. I have seen students in school hours before practice time trying to get a part correct. My daughter had a sectional (for singing) just last week--in the middle of vacation!! These kids get together periodically over the summer to warm up for when school starts, and to just be together. They are all a great goup of friends who care about and for each other. I am so proud th know these young adults!!

I know other parents can and will say the same thing about their teenagers and schools. I know that it will be true. But, if someone had just told me these facts, I might think they were just bragging and the kids couln't possibly be this good. But living and seeing it first hand, I know it's true!! There are wonderful kids out there today who will grow up to be wonderful adults!! Maybe ther IS hope for this next generation to take over the world!!

Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me

Where did the work ethic go??

I was raised in the generation that was taught to "mind your manners","respect your elders", "no back-talk" and when you make a commitment you follow through with it.

Going back to work after 17 yrs ( I stayed home to raise my daughters) was a shock to my system. Not a shock that I was working again, but the shock was in working with this new, younger generation! I am amazed in their LACK of work ethic and their attitude toward their job and superiors!

Back when I was a teeneager/young adult, if you had a job (and we all did), you shoved up at your scheduled time, didn't whine about EVERYTHING, did your job and went home as scheduled. The kids today don't have any undestanding of this concept. They are notorious for coming in 10 min. late--ALL THE TIME!!! Because they are a relief person, this means either their co-worker (usally a mom trying to get home to fix supper) has to stay late or we are short-handed until they get to their register. These kids also whine for the most part, if you ask them to do something--they would rather just stand there and talk. In any business, the customer ALWAYS comes first. These kids will constantly talk to each other while waiting on customers. And this isn't just my store--I have been the customer at other establishments and this has happened to me!! Customers are your paycheck--if you disrespect them, they won't come back. There goes your job!! And your money!!

These kids are constantly "calling out", i.e. calling work a short time before their scheduled time to say they can't come to work. Now, once in a while because they are legitimately sick is one thing. But constantly??!! As an example--you have a teenager that works 3 days a week. She requests more hours because she needs the money. The next week you schedule her for 4 days--and that week she calls out one day!!! She still is working only 3 days!! And this happens all the time!! I don't understand them. Some of the blame falls to the parents. I had one parent call to say his daughter wouldn't be in on a Friday night (our busiest) because he dicided to take the family out to dinner and his daughter was going!! Great role model he set for her work ethic!!! This same father called another day to say he was taking his daughter shopping for school clothes!! He couldn't have done that when she got out of work??!!

Years ago, when you messed up at work, you received a written warning. Three warnings and you were fired. Guess what--doesn't happen anymore. A kid can mess up a thousand times, but you can't fired them. Well, you can, but know what happens?--they get to collect unemployment--no matter what they do!! Now this means my company has to pay them to sit home on their rear ends and play video games all day!! I had a co-worker who was great when he started. After a while, he started messing up on purpose. He told me he was doing this so he could get fired and collect--he didn't want to work anymore but wanted the money from unemployment!! Needless to say--management knew what he was up to and he ended up quitting and not receiving unemployment. Now, I understand equal rights for all, but this is getting carried away!! What are we teaching these future generations--it's okay to be a "screw-up"-you'll get money anyways!!??!!

The parents of these kids are my generation. I am so embarrassed by this. I was not raised this way--how were they?? My generation seems to be so concerned with money and material possessions--how much can we make so we can buy "stuff". Both parents work-never spending time with their kids so they can't seem to teach them the values of life they are going to need later in the "real world".

I must add here that not ALL of the kids are like this. I truely work with some great kids who come in on their days off, do their job and then some, and are pleasant and a joy to be around. It's the others that I have a problem with. If it was one or two kids, it probably wouldn't be noticed, but it's a lot more than a couple. It really makes it seem like the whole generation is like this. If you remember the 1960's, you think of that generation as a bunch of drug-taking, "free love" kids. Well, I was that generation, and I was not like that and neither were a lot of people I know. But the generation as a whole seemed like that. That is what I am afraid of for this generation. They will be catagorized as a group of kids that "don't care about anything but themselves". What a terrible legacy to have.

I can't wait to see what happens when this younger generation is the boss of a company, and their subordinates are always "calling out" or not getting work done because they are talking or late. Boy, do they have a rude awakening coming!! By they I'll be retired, sitting on my porch with a cheshire grin on my face thnking--"what comes around goes around!!".

Have a great day, and stay safe!!
Me

How do you do...

CEAD MILE FAILTE...
A Thousand Welcomes..(in Gaelic)

Before I get to my rantings, ramblings and ravings, I thought I would introduce myself. I have been married for 22 years to a great guy-Chris (who will be known as "The Husband")- and two daughters. Kerri (the Princess) is going into her 3rd year of University and Kate (the Drama Queen) will be a senior in high school. With 3 Irish women in the house, talk about estrogen !! Poor Husband!! We have 3 cats (2F/1M) and a golden retreiver-Sir KGB (I'll explain his name at another time!!). I was a stay-at-home Mom for 17 yrs and have only been back in the "real world" for 4 yrs. What changes there are!! Those views will be a whole letter unto itself!!

I have very ecclectic tastes-from music to movies and books. But don't mess with my food---meat and potatoes all the way---I'M IRISH--what would you expect!! I have a wonderful group of family and friends that keep me sane in the toughest of times--I am eternally grateful for their love and support.

I have done many things in my life--volunteering, travel to Europe, Girl Scout leader, host parent and English teacher to foreign students, sky diving, singer in "New LIfe Singers" (a Christian choir) and keyboardist/singer in a band.

From the time I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a wife and mother--little did I know what I was getting myself into!!! I have just crested the first hill of this great roller coaster ride called "Life", and can't wait to see what is over the next hill. The negative G's are better that the positive G's!! I could use a little less weight on my shoulders right now-school is starting soon. The Princess is leaving me and the Drama Queen will be non-stop busy for a year. I guess I'll get to rest next June!!

Time to wake the Drama Queen up--she's such a "HAPPY"??!! child in the morning. I'll let you know how many battle scars I receive today!!

Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me