HOW OLD DO I FEEL???
This has been a terrible month so far. First, I had to leave my firstborn 600+ miles away at school. Now I know, that is a good thing, but still..I miss her. Then....last Friday, Sept.22, she turned 20 years old!! And I was not there to celebrate with her!!!
Now, this is the third year that I have not celebrated her birthdy with her--physically with her. Yes, I call her and send her presents, but it's not the same thing. I am a picture taker. I take pictures of EVERYTHING!! Just ask my kids!! And I don't have pictures for Kerri's 18th, 19th or 20th birthdays. This is just wrong!!! But what is really, really wrong is that we will do this again next year. BUT NEXT YEAR SHE WILL BE 21!!! I am already dreading that. How can I not be there with my baby on her 21st birthday??!!
I was thinking maybe I'll take the weekend off and go stay in PA with her next year. . Think she would like that?? Probably not. She will be 21 and of legal age to go out. I doubt if she will want to leave me alone in a motel while she goes out with her friends. Well, maybe I could have cake with her and then leave, what do you think??? All I know is I miss her. She is talking about moving away after college. So I guess there will be more birthdays I am gonna miss-YUCK!! And probably hoildays, my grandchildren's birthdays, the list goes on and on!!
No one told me that motherhood would be like this--full of longings and dissapointments and sadness. I want her to grow up, have a wonderfully happy life wherever she choses to settle down, but I'll miss her.
Twenty years ago I held this precious, beautiful baby in my arms and thought that lilfe couldn't get any better that it was right then. Life was perfect. A million thoughts, dreams and hopes went through my mind about what her life/our life together would be like. And it has been a joy to live in this movie called "KERRI". For twenty years I have been awed by what she has accomplilshed. Her running, her singing, the way she treats people, her love of life have amazed me. She is a wonderful young lady whom I am so proud to call my daughter.
I always thought my Princess would be there-within reach to watch her grow and thrive as a person. If her life takes her away, I guess I'm just gonna have to watch it from afar. So, she better take a lot of pictures for me--I have a bunch of empty albums here just waiting to be filled!! Maybe a camera for her 21st birthday would be a good gift!!!
Have a geart day, and stay safe!!
Me
Now, this is the third year that I have not celebrated her birthdy with her--physically with her. Yes, I call her and send her presents, but it's not the same thing. I am a picture taker. I take pictures of EVERYTHING!! Just ask my kids!! And I don't have pictures for Kerri's 18th, 19th or 20th birthdays. This is just wrong!!! But what is really, really wrong is that we will do this again next year. BUT NEXT YEAR SHE WILL BE 21!!! I am already dreading that. How can I not be there with my baby on her 21st birthday??!!
I was thinking maybe I'll take the weekend off and go stay in PA with her next year. . Think she would like that?? Probably not. She will be 21 and of legal age to go out. I doubt if she will want to leave me alone in a motel while she goes out with her friends. Well, maybe I could have cake with her and then leave, what do you think??? All I know is I miss her. She is talking about moving away after college. So I guess there will be more birthdays I am gonna miss-YUCK!! And probably hoildays, my grandchildren's birthdays, the list goes on and on!!
No one told me that motherhood would be like this--full of longings and dissapointments and sadness. I want her to grow up, have a wonderfully happy life wherever she choses to settle down, but I'll miss her.
Twenty years ago I held this precious, beautiful baby in my arms and thought that lilfe couldn't get any better that it was right then. Life was perfect. A million thoughts, dreams and hopes went through my mind about what her life/our life together would be like. And it has been a joy to live in this movie called "KERRI". For twenty years I have been awed by what she has accomplilshed. Her running, her singing, the way she treats people, her love of life have amazed me. She is a wonderful young lady whom I am so proud to call my daughter.
I always thought my Princess would be there-within reach to watch her grow and thrive as a person. If her life takes her away, I guess I'm just gonna have to watch it from afar. So, she better take a lot of pictures for me--I have a bunch of empty albums here just waiting to be filled!! Maybe a camera for her 21st birthday would be a good gift!!!
Have a geart day, and stay safe!!
Me
posted by katydid @ 5:01 AM
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