FUNERALS: RULES AND TRADITIONS
I have just come back home from my second funeral in 8 days. This is getting scary!!! Last week, a co-worker passed away. It was expected--but it was not. I haven't figured out if we were not told everything or it just happened way to fast. Either way, it was a shock to all of us. Pat (in the Hat) was a terrific lady--only 64 with many years to enjoy life. Her big mistake--she hadn't gone to the doctors for a check up in 3 years. She died of a cancer that was completely curable if caught in time. Needless to say--it wasn't caught in time. To all of my friends and family--GO TO THE DOCTORS FOR A CHECK UP!!! Yes, I'm yelling at all of you---just do it so you are around for many years because I love all of you.
Todays funeral was for my aunt--she was 89 and lived a good long life. I will miss her, but we will all cope and go on with our lives. That's what we do.
What really made me angry this past week was the stupidity of some of the people at these funerals, and the people on the roads that we traversed to the cemetary. There are rules to a funeral. There are traditions that should not be broken.
The funeral procession to the cemetary is becoming increasingly dangerous for two resons. The people IN the procession do not know the rules, and the people on the roads either don't care or don't not know the rules of ettiquette for a funeral procession. When in a procession, your head lights should be ON. Nowadays, most cars' lights are always on, so one should also have flashers on-especially for a long procession of cars. The chain of cars should not be broken!!!! You don't stop at red lights or stop signs. The ENTIRE courtege should continue to the cemetary. I can't begin to count the number of cars that broke the line today and last week. People were in such a hurry that they didn't care or didn't know the rules. If they didn't know, then the fault lies with the parents of these people-they never taught them correct ettiquette. Tradition states that the line is not to be broken. To quote Carl De Gurse, "“We will lose something valuable if we lose traffic respect for funeral processions. When we pull over and give our right of way to mourners, we give the gift of compassion for their grief. Because the gift comes from strangers, it means much more.” When did our fellow man stop caring about each other??? I really wish I lived back about 50-60 years ago when people were nice and caring to each other. That common courtesy, that 'good-neighbor feeling' is so lost in today's society.
The other tradition that I noticed was wrong today was the receiving line at the funeral home. When you go to a traditional Christian funeral, there is a guest book to sign. This book is usually near the entrance to the viewing room, or near the casket. After singing the book, a person should procede to the casket and then the family members. The deceased husband/parent is usually first to be greeted followed by thier children and spouses and then grandchildren. This is a show of resect to the departeds' family. At the home today, my uncle and I walked up to the book (right next to the casket) and signed our names. We then went to go view my Aunt, but couldn't. A whole group of people walked in and went to the daughters-in-laws, then the grandchildren, then the sons. and then the casket!!!! Talk about backwards. After standing there for abour 5 mins. and feeling very foolish, my uncle and I proceded to do the same. I told my cousin Rita this was backwards, and she said, "I know--it's the people from Massachusettes. I guess they don't go to funerals much!!" By the time we got to my last cousin, the 'normal' people were in line correctly and we were still stopped from going to the casket. My cousin Jimmy said, "don't worry. It's not you that was backwards, it was the others". How could someone not know to go to the casket first--these were old poeple-not young kids. The generation that knows the rules are dying--and this next generation doesn't care. What will happen to us as a society when no one knows what to do??? I hope I am not around to see it.
Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me
Todays funeral was for my aunt--she was 89 and lived a good long life. I will miss her, but we will all cope and go on with our lives. That's what we do.
What really made me angry this past week was the stupidity of some of the people at these funerals, and the people on the roads that we traversed to the cemetary. There are rules to a funeral. There are traditions that should not be broken.
The funeral procession to the cemetary is becoming increasingly dangerous for two resons. The people IN the procession do not know the rules, and the people on the roads either don't care or don't not know the rules of ettiquette for a funeral procession. When in a procession, your head lights should be ON. Nowadays, most cars' lights are always on, so one should also have flashers on-especially for a long procession of cars. The chain of cars should not be broken!!!! You don't stop at red lights or stop signs. The ENTIRE courtege should continue to the cemetary. I can't begin to count the number of cars that broke the line today and last week. People were in such a hurry that they didn't care or didn't know the rules. If they didn't know, then the fault lies with the parents of these people-they never taught them correct ettiquette. Tradition states that the line is not to be broken. To quote Carl De Gurse, "“We will lose something valuable if we lose traffic respect for funeral processions. When we pull over and give our right of way to mourners, we give the gift of compassion for their grief. Because the gift comes from strangers, it means much more.” When did our fellow man stop caring about each other??? I really wish I lived back about 50-60 years ago when people were nice and caring to each other. That common courtesy, that 'good-neighbor feeling' is so lost in today's society.
The other tradition that I noticed was wrong today was the receiving line at the funeral home. When you go to a traditional Christian funeral, there is a guest book to sign. This book is usually near the entrance to the viewing room, or near the casket. After singing the book, a person should procede to the casket and then the family members. The deceased husband/parent is usually first to be greeted followed by thier children and spouses and then grandchildren. This is a show of resect to the departeds' family. At the home today, my uncle and I walked up to the book (right next to the casket) and signed our names. We then went to go view my Aunt, but couldn't. A whole group of people walked in and went to the daughters-in-laws, then the grandchildren, then the sons. and then the casket!!!! Talk about backwards. After standing there for abour 5 mins. and feeling very foolish, my uncle and I proceded to do the same. I told my cousin Rita this was backwards, and she said, "I know--it's the people from Massachusettes. I guess they don't go to funerals much!!" By the time we got to my last cousin, the 'normal' people were in line correctly and we were still stopped from going to the casket. My cousin Jimmy said, "don't worry. It's not you that was backwards, it was the others". How could someone not know to go to the casket first--these were old poeple-not young kids. The generation that knows the rules are dying--and this next generation doesn't care. What will happen to us as a society when no one knows what to do??? I hope I am not around to see it.
Have a great day, and stay safe.
Me
posted by katydid @ 4:35 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:10 AM,
Terry said…
thanks for sharing this....
we were just at a funeral and hate to say it, but we could have been your kin from mass.
my hubbie did a search to find out funeral ettiquette so we'll be better prepared next time...
that's how he stumbled on your site.
Thank you again.
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